


Mine

by Ariaminz772



Series: Rose is Red and Sky is Blue - I Will Rape You [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: But Spock will heal him, Hurt Jim, I like it when Jim almost get rape, M/M, Oblivious Jim, Poor Jim, Possessive Spock, Protective Bones, Sexual Harassment, She isn't that important and won't show until the end, So I create this story, Thalia is an OC that I make due to a bet, or in the middle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-09 19:52:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8909806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariaminz772/pseuds/Ariaminz772
Summary: Spock dislike the way that man looking toward 'his' captain.OrIn which Jim is as clueless as a fish, and almost get rape, okay maybe 'almost' isn't quiet the words, in his own captain chair and all, and someone come to save him even if it a little bit to late.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a new person to this fandom. Just began to like Star Trek in this years. So I really am sorry if this is bad. I'm just a newborn fans. Sorry for the grammar and typo. I will fix it later when I get my computer back. Hope you all enjoy this as much as I write this.

Spock know it is illogical for him to have a bad thought about someone when he even has not speak to the said person, yet. And its even more illogical to be like that when the said person is barely on his view. Even if the said person talks to Jim all too friendly.

Lt. Ian Chamber, a new navigator for Beta Shift that just join the Enterprise for almost 1 weeks 2 days 8 hours 30 minutes and 55 seconds ago. The man is quite friendly, as he build friendship with anyone in the Enterprise, and thats excluding Spock. He is a promising man in Spock opinions, as he do his job greatly.

But still, he found himself being a little bit angry - Vulcan doesn't get angry as he often said that into his own head - when he see how close the captain has been with Lt. Ian Chamber. He dislike their closeness.

And he also dislike how Lt. Chamber looks toward the captain back, all silent and just stare long enough before he move away or the captain out from his view. He can feel that something is not right about the officer, but he is a vulcan. He cannot make a decision base from his feels alone. Afterall, vulcan works with logic, not with feeling and they do not feel.

Lt. Ian Chamber may meant no harm for them. But Spock will keep an eyes on him just in case, even if he know how illogical that is. But everyone who ever looking toward his captain back like it is a thropy, has to be taken seriously for the vulcan.

Because the captain may not this know right now. But he belong to Spock. And Spock dislike it when people doing something weird towards what is his.

________________________________________________

Jim could feel something is wrong with his First Officer. But he cannot figure out the problem at all. Okay maybe he can guess it, must be because he decline their chess match the night before. He know that Spock already told him that its okay and its logical if Jim decline their match because he is exhauted from works but its still bug him to the end.

So that is why right now they are playing chess together in Spock's room. He know he has to make a report for tomorrow, but his crew is more important then a reports. He enjoy spending time with Spock, really. Why won't he. Who won't enjoy spending time with Spock? Okay, he can name two people but he know they secretly enjoy it too. Spock is an amazing man in his own vulcan way.

The way the vulcan sassyly -is sassyly even a word?- talk back. The sassy comment, everything he done is sassy in his own way. Okay, maybe not as sassy as Bones, he still find that Bones is more sassy then Spock, but definetly sassy enough. Okay, why did he thinking about sassyness right now?

Anyway.

He found out that Spock companion is quiet intresting. Okay, very intresting, but not as much as his night time with Bones, he means them go to the bar to get drunk when shore leave, but still intresting. He likes to see how, in some point if he is lucky, Spock poker face mask will be torn apart everytimes Jim cornered him in chess, and how his brown eyes flashing with confident when he really sure that he win this part.

"Well, as much as I enjoy our time together, I still have to take a look at the bridge for Beta Shift." Said Jim as he stand up and turn around to hide a yawn. Damn, he really are tired.

"Captain. When did the last time you sleep?" He can hear a small hint of worriness on the Vulcan voice but he must be just imagine it.

"Ummm, 3 days ago? Don't worry Spock I can go for another night." Said Jim.

"Captain, it will be very wish for you to get rest. Human body cannot-."

As much as he like to hear the second Bones, Jim cannot face this situation when he is really tired, "I understand Spock. Really. I will take my rest in the middle pf Alpha Shift after I finished my reports. So the coms is yours when I take my rest."

There is a moment of silent as Jim turn to his First Officer who then answer, "As your wish, Captain."

"Good. Well, goodnight Spock. See you later when Alpha Shift started." With that Jim goes out from Spock's room. Unaware with the eyes that folllow him after he come out from the room.

________________________________________________

Yup, screw his live.

Jim really feel sleepy right now, but he has not finish his reports yet. He know if he wants to get that five years mission he had to follow every damn rules on Starfleet, and his allergic to paperworks excuse cannot be accept anymore.

Jim looking toward the now near empty bridge, okay, maybe now the empty bridge as the last Beta member had went out. They are in a stable condition and also near one of Federation Planets, which mean no harm will done to the starship on there, as the crew try to regain their strenght for another leaves.

Jim sigh loudly. Its only 30 minutes again before Alpha Shift and if he finished this damn paperworks, cause he is to lazy to walks back to his room just to return again to the bridge, before Alpha Shift began so he can catch a break. Pushing himself to hard won't do good for his body as that exactly what Bones always told him.

About Bones. Maybe he should re-think hus choice to asked the man about the shore leaves. That grumpy doctor right now is in a very stable relationship with the engineers girl. Its very un-wise for him to asked Bones come along to him to the bar, to the place where there is so many girl that will flirt to them or the other way around.

Hmm, maybe Jim also has to start a relationship. But he is not ready yet. Okay, maybe he is if its Spock. Great, in the middle of alpha shift he will take a short rest so his mind won't be like this. Thinking about his First Officer like that isn't healthy.

Okay, he needs some coffee. Maybe he can asked someone to deliver it to him on the brigde. But how and who? Should he make an announcement that he will die if he doesn't get any coffee. Nah, Bones will only hypo him if he do that. And put him into coma untill he is healthy enough. Jim cannot take any risk that will harm his plan for getting the fifth years mission, maybe after they get it then Jim can do it.

Well, theres no other way. He will just bring coffee by himself to the bridge.

As soon as Jim gets up, put down his padd and turn around, he almost bumps into the body of Lt. Ian Chamber, "Oopss. Sorry Ian. I don't see you there." Said Jim.

"No, that is okay Jim. I'm unaware that you are inside the bridge." Said Ian as he smile to the blond man.

"Yeah, Alpha Shift will start around 30 minutes again and there some reports that I have to do." Said Jim as he then looking toward the two cups of coffee that Ian brings. Its one hell of a coffee.

"Oh yeah, I cannot get sleep and decide to make two set of a good coffee to accompany me. You want one, Jim?" Said Ian.

"Can I?" Asked Jim as he take the cup and sip the coffee, "You save me from making it. I'm a bit tired to move." He already finish his coffee when he sit on his captain chair.

Is this just him, or he felt really hot in here?

"Oh yeah, what are you doing here Ian? Isn't the Beta Shift already ended?" Asked Jim as he close his eyes and rest his head on the chair, his head gets a little bit dizzy.

"Yes, well, like you Jim, there is something that I have to do on the bride." Said Ian as Jim open his eyes and turn to him.

"Really? What is that?" Asked Jim.

He cannot figure out why Ian smile at him and keep looking at him. Or why sunddely the room feel so hot that he want to take out his cloths. His belly also feel funny. He wonder why. He can hear dazely some footstep coming to him and he feel all his power is lost when sunddely a finger touch his chin and bring it up.

Jim is looking toward Ian as his view become blurr.

Ian smile as he holds the captain chin. Turn out the drug works more faster then he expect. But its okay, the faster they finished this, the faster Ian can make his claim to the captain. He know that he has to take some action when he see Jim walks out from thats vulcan room.

Jim is his and no one else can claim him other then himself. Even if the man doesn't know it, Jim is clueless as a fish and Ian wonder how can he date that planty of girls on the academy, Jim already belong to Ian as he set his eyes first since Academy.

Ian smile as he coming closer and breathe toward the captain neck. Its smell so good that make Ian wonder how can he gets hard by just a smell. Ian then lick Jim's neck, and doesn't get any respond before bit it down a little, which earn him a gasp from the captain and a weaks, sweaty hands push his head away.

"What are you doing Ian?" Seem like Jim is sober enough to stop him. But its okay, Ian want Jim to remember this.

"Claiming what I want to claim in the first place, Jim." Ian doesn't wait for another confuse replay, as soon as Jim open his mouth to speak, he captures it with his own. Its feel warm, soft and great. Ian move his tongue inside Jim mouth and thats where reality hit Jim.

Ian can feel Jim is pushing his houlder, but he doesn't want this to end so instead of pull away like last time, Ian grab Jim hands, its easy to do so as Jim already weaks and on drugs, and his other hand push Jim head so they can deeply their kiss. Ian is battling with Jim tongue and soon dominated it and explore thats warm and deliciouse mouth. He doesn't let any of it absence. The wall, and teeth, he taste all of it until he breaks the kiss apart for breathe.

"The..fuck...Ian." Ian can see Jim try to catch his breathe and then try to move but Ian pinned him to the chair. Not wanting to let the man go this soon.

Afterall, their game just getting started.

"Ian, stop this fucking right now." Said Jim as he tries to sound like his normal self, commanding and all, but its only come out breatheless and tired.

"But your body tell me otherway, Jim." Said Ian as he smile and then bit Jim's neck. He bits it hard enough that it will leave a mark, and some blood, and then lick it, gaining a moan from Jim as he also stroke the blond cock that hidden on his pants.

Ian smile and wanting to bit more before he find himself being throw back. A little bit shock, then he is looking toward Jim who is trying to walk out from the bridge. Ian smile as he shook his head, Jim really are something. He can surface the drug and push Ian away. But its still not enough.

Sober and healthy, its easy for Ian to catch Jim before he goes out from the bridge. He hold Jim waist as the man tries to struggle, but thats doesn't give any effort at all.

"Help. Help!" Yelled Jim as loud as he can, which is just a whimper to Ian ears.

"Don't worry Jim. I will make you feel so good." Said Ian as he pull Jim back and then pinned him to the floor. Jim tries once again to free himself but like before no effort. He is under the mercy off the drugs.

Ian cannot wait any longer as he felt his cock, even behind his pants, is getting hard when Jim struggle, making their cock touched and even stroke each other. Somehow, its quiet easy to take off the captain cloths seeing how he still dazzy. Ian can see the nipples are hard and wanting for him to devour.

"S-stop..." Again Jim tries to set free but it is useless.

"Ah, ah. Cannot let you struggle free." He pull out a handcuff, gods know where he found it, and cuff Jim hands and place it over his head, holding it with his right hand.

Ian then lean forward and then take Jim right nipple, kiss it, suck it and lick it, as his left hands playing with his left nipples. He can hear Jim groans weakely. Ian looks toward Jim and find the man bit his lips down. Its okay, Ian can get him to make some noise.

Ian then sit up, taking Jim handcuff hands and put it on the side of the captain chair. He hang it up to the side and hold it with the chair holder and see how Jim is trying to struggle free.

"Its useless my love." Said Ian as he smile and then began to undone Jims pants.

Thats is when the rush kick in. Sunddely Jim can feel himself in one of he alley, beaten up, scared and depress as he is being found by the two guard who smile sickly at him. Jim began to struggle wildly then before. But its still useless. So he tries to kick Ian away but it was easily being catch and soon Jim found himself naked as Ian take out his pants and boxer.

"Stop..please stop. Help! Somebody help me! HELP!" He must be yell loud enough because Ian place his hands over his mouth.

"I know no one will hear you as the alpha shift will began in 24 minutes again but we cannot take the risk, my love. After we done I will clean all the mess so no one will notice our play, And we can continued this on my room." Jim feel sick. Its still thats long. No one will save him. No one will come here. They won't even know what happen when they come here. And worst he will being raped again on Ian rooms.

He only hope that someone will come in from that door and help him.

Jim shiver when the hands touch his legs, "You know Jim, if you beg, I will make this less painful. But thats is for another game as we doesn't have much time left. I have to finished our play 15 minutes before Alpha Shift." Ian then cover his three finger with his saliva before he put all three figer into Jim holes, earning a painful gasp thats almost turn into shriek from Jim's mouth.

He play his finger, in and out and doesn't even wait for Jim to get use. He then push his finger more inside, earning a gasp of shock as his middle finger touch something. He smirk, "Looks like I found the spot, Jim." He then pull it half out before push it again his time hit it again hard earning a moan from Jim, "Fuck, I cannot control it again." Growl Ian as he take out his cock from his pants.

"Don't! Please! NOO!!" Jim cried when he feel the big cock of Ian come inside him, Ian put his hands around Jim mouth.

"Shhh..its okay. Fuck Jim, you are so thight." Said Ian as he steady his breathe, "Your not a virgin but its so thight, god Jim. The person who fuck you first must be so goddamn lucky bastard! Oh fuck." He groan as he kept push himself inside.

Ian take a deep breathe before he take the handcuff hands out from the chair handler and then grabs Jim hips as he kneel and then pull out his cock, leaving its head inside before push it back, hard and fast, until it hit Jim sensitive spots in one push, making Jim moans and yell.

"Oh, fuck!" Jim cries as he feel his stomach twist into a loging need for more of it. Must be because of the drug. His head feel dizzy. And when another push come and hit his G-spot, Jim swears he can see the stars, "Aaahhnn~!" Moan Jim as he cries himself for his body who betray him.

He doesn't like this dammit.

"Fuck Jim." Groan Ian as he then repeated it again, this time faster and no time to stop. Push his cock more inside and hit his spot deeper and more deeper. Making Jim being a moaning mess.

Jim feel his stomach twist and his cock harder as he feel really hot. He will reach his climax. But before he can brust it out, Ian grab his cock to stop him from release it..

"Me first. Then you." Ian then kept pushing, faster and harder as Jim cries. Feeling depress and sick as he want to release it all. He then feel the cock inside his hole stiff and with one final push, hitting his spot more deeper and Jim can swear theres a warms liquid of semen come inside his stomach and Jim release his seed after Ian comes.

They breathe crazily as Jim try to stable his breathe between his cry. He feel tainted. Even more tainted since Tarsus IV, at there he doesn't has any choice. He isn't strong enough. And right now, he also isn't strong enough. He is so weak that he deserve all of this.

"Damn. We still got 5 more minutes." Jim feel fear consume him as he see Ian smile to him.

"No, please stop!" Said Jim but Ian doesn't listen to him as he move and pull Jim hair before put his cock inside Jim's mouth.

"Oh fuck. So warms. Just like yours fucking thight hole." With that Ian push it, in and out and its hitting Jim's throath, making him hard to breathe.

Jim cries again in silent as his mouth keeps getting assault. He can feel the cock stiff and harder in his mouth and then Ian push deeper, hitting his back throath making Jim choked and then warms liquid of semen comes in, Jim doesn't has any other choice expect swallow it and when Ian release him, Jim fall down in tiredness.

Its over. Is it? No, its not over. No. The nightmare still continue.

But this time. Its not Jim nightmare, no its not his nightmare, as Ian scream in agony when he found his hand being crushed.

And when Jim look up, he can see a warms onyx eyes is looking at him in full worriedness.

"Jim."

The rescue has come. But sadly, its far to late.  
________________________________________________

Thalia yawn loudly as she take a sip of her coffee. She really should leave all of the problem to Scotty. But, she doesn't trust that man yet to take care this baby girl, the Enterprise. And she feel so sore, and tired.

Her eyes looking toward the hall of heaven, as she call it, that will lead her into the brigde. Well, she know as an engineer she will never ever can touch the bridge. And she cannot see how the stars being view from there, and the fact that she also one of the people who build the Enterprise.

Well, right now is an empty hour. Beta ship already ended sometimes ago, yes she know that because when she get back inside her room her roommate is alreay falling death straight into the bed, and its not like no one will notice.

Jim won't notice.

Thalia smile as she take another sip of her coffee, "Well, there a say that 'What the captain doesn't know, won't hurt anyone.' or I just made that up for an excuse." Murmur Thalia to herself before she take another sip once again and nods, "Captain chair, here I come."

She walks to the bridge in pure silent. Even if the halls is empty, not wanting to take any risk. Also, looking at the time and how insanely boring but sassy vulcan will usually come 15 minutes faster then original shift, Thalia only has 2 minutes and 5 second from now to sit on captain chair.

She brave herself and then come inside only to freeze at the view in front of her. Her coffee almost slip from her hands as she see the new recruite, Lt. Ian Chamber, naked from waist to his toes, kneeling as he grabs a blond hair, blond hair as blond as a person that Thalia know the most, pushing his harder cock inside the blonde, the person that Thalia respect the most, mouth.

Thalia freeze at there. Doesn't believe her own eyes, and when Lt. Ian Chamber let out a breathless sigh as a sign that he comes inside her dearest captain mouth, and thats where Thalia snaps.

She run toward that bastard and knock him away from the blonde, from her captain, from Jim, as her cup of coffee break into pieces from the contact and also its taint her cloths and Lt. Ian Chamber, no, and this bastard motherfucker cock, feel that damn burn pain you motherfucker, as she then grab her hammer that she bring, and destroy the man left hand to arm and left legs, she will gladly to destroy his cock but she doesn't want to see, fuck, why doesn't she just crushed this bastard cock into tiny little pieces.

Oh right. Jim needs her help. No. He needs Len.

Thalia get away from the bastard that whine in pain from his broken hand and leg as she comes to Jim and then touch his face. He is burning hot.

"Jim." Said Thalia softly as she touch her captain face. She can see his eyes is hollowed and cover in shadows thats began to creep her out. What should she do.

Right Len. Len. She has to. Where is her communicator, or whatever fuck that starfleet named them. Right, her right pocket.

"LEN! LEN I NEED YOU ON THE FUCKING BRIDGE NOW!!" Thalia scream as its connect with the CMO.

"Fuck Thal, what the he-." She cut the CMO before he speak again.

"LEN!! GETS YOUR FUCKING ASS AT HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!" She know she shouldn't swear. Len doesn't know anything, but Jim hurt. Jim, "JIM HURTS, LEN! Oh Fuck. LEN HURRY!!"

She can hear Len curse as the contact ended. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know. Right, that bastard still need more lesson. Thats bastard is at her back.

Thalia turn around just in time to move from the uncoming hammer that almost hit her head and hit the floor just a couple of inch from Jim head, and that damn captain doesn't even flinch. Fuck.

"You fuck shit." Thalia can hear the man growl.

She can take him down, he lose half of his hand and leg, but never ever try to fight a madman with hammer. Especially if you are a girl.

But fuck cautions. Thalia wait for Ian to come close and as he swing the hammer down, Thalia put all her will power into her feet and then kick that bastard. Its not enough thought as the bastard is so strong even when he lost almost 50% of the use of his body.

He still there. In front of Thalia as he bring the hammer, he rise the hammer, and swing it down, Thalia put her hands in front of her face to slow it down before sunddely, a yell were heared and then she can feel the weight of that bastard gone. And the loud sound of a fucking hammer hitting the floor, as if its being throw away were heared. And Thalia open her eyes just to see a very furious vulcan.

________________________________________________

Spock really shouldn't making a turn. He regret it.

He already prepared since the end of Beta Shift and planning to come to the bridge 25 minutes more sooner then planned. But he makes a turn. Instead of going into the bridge, he goes into midbay.

And meet with a very grumpy doctor.

"Dammit Spock. I'm a doctor. A doctor whose heal wound and heal pain. Not a fucking love doctor." Said Dr. McCoy as he hear all the story.

"I, perfectly know that fact, doctor." Said Spock. He also wonder why he speak its all to Dr.McCoy. Maybe because Jim more close to the CMO.

Dr.McCoy sigh, "My advice. Its no use if you try to gain his attention in romantic way. Thats boy is as clueless as a fish even if he dating almost half female of the academy. He even just notice a man at the bar hits on him when the man mentioned it."

"Thats also I already notice." Said Spock as he recall a confuse Jim when he get a box of chocolate from someone days before and try to find who own it so he can give it back because he think the person must be place them at the wrong place when the truth is the mysterious sender want him to eat it. The chocolate then being eaten by the bridge crews when Jim cannot find who had them.

"The you have to be straight to the point on him. Look kid," Spock want to twitch his eyes but it is very unwise and illogical for a vulcan, and seeing how Dr. McCoy is indeed older then him, it is logical enough to call him as kid, "the thing is, Jim is a straight to the point man. So if you like him just said it in front of his face, and he will notice."

"Is that also how you getting close to Ensign Cannaries? Straight to the point." Dr.McCoy frown.

"I thought this is about you and your love problem. Not about me, and my love live." Said Dr.McCoy when Spock keep silent and give the doctor, what Jim use to the him and nickname it as 'eyebrows of he death' the CMO sigh, "Yes kid. Believe it or not, Tal is afraid of man, I even have to fight one month of trust issue before I date her."

There is a silent fill in the midbay.

"Are we done yet? I have some medical report that I should do." Said Dr.McCoy.

"Yes, I believe we are." Said Spock as he watch the time, 16 minutes 30 seconds before Alpha Shift and he must be on the bridge to check it all and also talks to Jim, following Dr.McCoy advice.

Just as Spock in front of the door, Dr.McCoy communicator getting a call and the doctor answer it.

Only to be greets by a loud yell of panic from Ensign Cannaries.

"LEN! LEN! I NEED YOU ON THE FUCKING BRIDGE NOW!!"

"Fuck Thal, what the he-."

If not for the worried tone, Spock maybe and may not impressed at how the two lover curse toward each other.

"LEN!! GETS YOUR FUCKING ASS AT HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!"

What happen in the bridge.

"JIM HURTS, LEN! Oh Fuck. LEN HURRY!!"

Jim hurt. Jim. His Jim hurt.

Spock run as fast as he can to the bridge, leaving the CMO to gather all the small gear and some hypo that he need for Jim. He feel the rush, the fear consume him as he hear it. Ensign Cannaries sound really scared and depress which make Spock so worried about what happen at the brigde.

When he reach the bridge, he see Lt. Ian Chamber is holding a hammer, rise it as high as his head while Ensign Cannaries under him and shield her face with her hands, Spock doing the logical thing he can think, he run forward, because he know phaser won't made it in time and Ensign Cannaries live percent will decrease to zero and in the end Dr.McCoy will kill him for letting his girlfriend die, and throw Lt. Ian Chamber away from them and the hammmer that being send flying across the room.

Spock turn to talk to Ensign Cannaries, asking if she is okay when he see that.

Jim. His Jim, lying on the floor, naked. Blood and semen cover the floor near the captain chair and he looking at the ceiling with shadow cover his eyes. He stay still. Doesn't do anything other then lay down. His lips burised and theres some trace of semen on the edge of his lip, his pale lips.

Spock see red.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weaks.
> 
> Useless.
> 
> He deserve to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this chapter will be one hell of a sad one. Watch out for grammar and typos my friends, I hope you still enjoy this chapter. And also Spock is cool and all, but he is to hard to write. Damn his logical sassy personality.

Ian can feel all of his fear consume him when he see the First Officer looking at him with that cold murderer eyes. Sure he has been aware about what will happen when he done this. He sure as hell can win this.

But seeing how the vulcan react to this, he wish he wouldn't give up to his jealousy and he will just wait until the mission is over and then take the captain.

Ian try to run away. Consume by fear and depression, Ian doesn't even bother by his hand and leg that hurt from the hammer. He tries to make an escape but soon find himself being hold back, as the vulcan holds the fabric of his cloths and then pull him back, so strong that he hit the walls very hard and he see black before he found himself lie down on the floor.

But it didn't end there. Before Ian can clear his blurry vision, he is being pull up and the vulcan hit him in the stomach, he pretty sure his ribs is break, and another kick before he fall down to the floor.

Then, the first punch to his face come.  
________________________________________________

Leonard awares that some tribbles things must be happening on the bridge when he heared Thalia telling him Jim is hurts. He has ready himself for the worst that will be happening.

But, he sure as hell never ever be ready for this.

As soon as he arrives to the bridge he freeze. His eyes lock to Spock, the most logical person, or alien, on the ship is throwing a punch to the new recruitment of Beta's Shift.

"The fuck Spock! What are-."

"Len! Hurry!" Leonard doesn't finished his words as he turn to the source of his lover voice when he see it.

Jim, lying on the cold hard floor of the bridge beside his captain chair, eyes close, naked, and hurt. And sunddely, the vulcan action at the moment become so logical.

Leonard run toward them and check out his best friend condition as he then curse loudly when his fear being confirms.

"Fuck! We need to move him!" Said Leonard as he tries to move Jim along with Thalia, but they won't reach medbay in time, he doesn't know how much Jim has been abused. He need Spock, "SPOCK!" He yells toward the vulcan, but he can see his voice doesn't reach the vulcan at all, "SPOCK!! We need to move Jim to medbay, right now!" Scream Leonard as he then move and place a hand on the furious vulcan, "Spock! He isn't worth it! We have to bring Jim to medbay! Jim is more important!"

The vulcan stop at the mention of Jim names and then bring down one last punch to the man, Leonard wish he doesn't have to make the vulcan stop his activity but Jim is more important, then runs to Jim.

"Ensign Cannaries, conns the Head of Security and send some man to bring that trash into the brig." Said Spock as he take Jim, in bride style, and then sprint to medbay, not waiting for the replay.

Leonard bring out his tricorder and began to examine Jim on the way.

________________________________________________

When Jim awake, he find himself looking at the familiar face of the worried Bones.

"Hei there." Said Bones as he began to examine him again.

"...'pen?" Jim feel his troath burn and dry.

"Easy there." In no time Bones come back to him and give him a glass of water as he drink it slowly before began to speak once again.

"What happen? Where am I?" Asked Jim as he touch his head that become so lightly.

"You don't remember?" Asked Bones, "Of course your not, you are being drugged. And also you are at your room, this is the best place for you after that."

"D-drugged? After what?" Asked Jim confuse.

"What are you remember kid?" Asked Bones softly as he take a hypo and inject it to Jim, making his head more better the before.

"I was, I was on the brigde. Waiting for the Alpha's Shift to come and then." Jim frown and pinch the edge of his nose, "And then, Ian come in with coffee.." Offer the coffee to him. He drink it. And then pain.

Pain.

He feel so hurt.

Oh god.

"He..he then..." Jim feel his heart beating so fast and he began to has a hard time to breathe, "And then he.." Oh god. He rape him. Jim swallows his saliva. The feel of a liquid falll down in his throath making him sick. Jim wants to throw up.

"Easy there!" When Jim turn to the side of the bed there already Bones who hold a bucket for him to throw up, "Easy there." Said Bones.

Jim feel dirty. He hugs himself as he close his eyes. Trying not to remember the last event but it is useless. He can still feel the touch, the pain, he can still feel all of it. Fresh. Too fresh, like it is happening right now.

"Jim, calm down!" He flinch, almost jump, when he feel someone hand on his shoulder, and sunddely, he back to the bridge.

"No! No! Release me!" He tries to struggle away.

"Dammit Jim! Its me! You are safe!"

No he isn't safe. He never be safe.

"Get away from me!" He push away the man, Ian, the guard, whoever try to take him, rape him "GO AWAY!!"

The last thing Jim hear is a curse and a pain on his neck before blackness consume him once again.

________________________________________________

Next time when he awake again, he is alone.

He grunts in pain as he sit, then looking around his room. In a second the memories hit him again, this time, feeling tired and hopeless, Jim cry silently.

He feel so ashame of himself. To let this all happen. He is so fucking weak.

For god sake, he is James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of U.S.S Enterprise, the golden boy of Starfleet, the saviour of Earth, and then he let himself getting rape.

He is so damn useless.

Just like what Frank said. He is so useless, a mistake, afterall, his own mother doesn't even care about him. He isn't strong enough to protect himself from Frank, he make Sam run away, he failed the children and let them get kill, and now, he isn't strong enough to deffends himself from getting rape. His father must be ashame of him. And also Pike, he must be ashame because Jim let him down. Because Jim not strong enough, and he isn't the one that Pike thinks he is.

He isn't a strong captain. If he even cannot deffends himself, then how can he deffends his crew. How can he protects them while he cannot protect himself.

Maybe Frank is right. He doesn't deserve to live.

Yeah, he doesn't deserve it. And the Enterprise. Enterprise and the crews will be alright. They don't need a very mess up captain. Spock can earn back his position as he captain, or Pike, afterall this ship is his. Thats right, everyone will be okay. Everyone will be fine.

Jim turn toward the drawer and then open it, taking out a phaser as he then slowly set it to kills.

No one will miss him. Even if there are its must be only Bones. And Bones will only mourn for some days. He has Thalia who can cheer him up. Unlike Jim, he doesn't has anyone.

No one will be bother by his death.

Jim put the phaser in front of his forehead, he close his eyes and ready himself to pull the trigger. When his finger move, in the face of the death an image of his first officer come into his mind.

And he fire the phaser, but in a second his hand being push away to the left and the shot missed his head.

"What are you thinking, Captain?!" There is a voice. And the voice tries to take away his phaser. He won't let anyone take away his only choice.

Jim do the only thing that he can do, he fight to gain the control of the phaser. And tries to push the trigger even if the trigger being shield by another finger.

Then the phaser fly away from both of their hands. Jim runs to get the phaser but he is more slower then the person that tries to. With an angry yells he jumps toward the person, only to be shoot by the phaser and then everything gone black.

________________________________________________

Spock run as fast as he can.

He was meditation in his own room. Trying to control his emotion that fill with rage, anger, shame and other emotions. He has to control his emotion before meet again with Jim. His Jim. He has to prepare himself so he won't explode like last time.

Even if Lt. Ian Chamber deserve it.

Theres a knock on his door and Spock open his eyes, he already tell everyone to only contact him if he is really needen so this must be something important. Spock sit up and then open he door, looking toward Ensign Cannaries who put her head down.

"What happen, Ms. Cannaries?" Asked Spock as he examine the Ensign face. Pale and full of sadness, and when the Ensign doesn't said anything Spock ask once again, "Ensign? Is there something wrong with the ship?" Ensign Cannaries shook her head, "The prisoner?" Again she shook her head, now Spock can feel fear but he try to conquer his fear, "Something happen to the captain?"

At the mention of the captain name, Ensign Thalia flinch.

"Captain...he.." Ensign Cannaries bits her lips.

"What happen, Ensign?" He highly doubt that everything will go wrong after Jim already being treat by Dr.McCoy, and Lt. Ian Chamber has been put into the brig.

"He. God Mr.Spock. Captain he, I don't know if this is so fucking hard for the captain. God. We shouldn't, we shouldn't have fucking leave him alone at all." Ensign Cannaries takes a deep breathe as tears began to forming in her eyes, "Damn it, he, he hold phaser, set it into kill and then, and he, I, I take the phaser away but then he, he. Spock. I shot Jim."

Spock freeze as the words sink into his head. He cannot register another words as he hear the word kill. The phaser that set into kill. Ensign Cannaries said she shot the captain.

Means that, Jim is.

Spock runs.

He runs as fast as he can toward Jim room. He then come inside there, and see Dr.McCoy sit in one of the chair beside he bed, hands holding his head, a sorrow and tired look on his face as Spock coming closer.

"Spock." Said Dr.McCoy.

"Jim?" He asked as he stop beside him, "Doctor did Jim, die?"

"Die? Almost." Said Dr.McCoy as he let out a big tired sigh.

Spock feel relieve consume him. Jim still alive. He doesn't die, "But, Ensign Cannaries tell me that Captain tries to shot himself and when she take control of the phaser she accidently shoot him."

"Yeah, but the phaser is switch into stun when they fight to control it." Said Dr.McCoy before he set up and then place a hand on Spock shoulder, "Accompany him, will ya'. I need to find Tal, she is too emotional right now." With that Dr.McCoy come out from there.

Spock never let his eyes wondering away from Jim as he take the seat and then hold Jim hand. Wondering why Jim will try to kill himself. He tries to send all the comfort, and telling Jim that he is safe, using his vulcan ability. And hoping that, he can comfort Jim.  
________________________________________________

This time when Jim open his eyes. He isn't alone, and the feeling of safety and warms surrounding him.

"Captain, I really am glad you awake." He turn and see Spock beside him.

Then sunddely the last event come back. When he want to pull the trigger, someone move the phaser away from his head, then blackness, "Mr.Spock, who save me?"

"You are talking as if you doesn't want to be save." Said Spock.

Jim sigh sadly as he speak, "What if I don't want to be save."

"Captain, for you to think like that is so illogical." Said Spock.

Jim almost laughed at that statement. Illogical. Its the only logical think, "Tell me Mr. Spock. Why did you said it is illogical for me to kill myself when no one even want me around? My own mother doesn't want anything with me, my step father hate me, I failed someone that believe in me, I was ra-. I let it happen. I'm not strong enough. No one will miss me, Spock. And no one will want a broken captain like me. Its only the logical choice."

"What about Dr.McCoy? You know he will miss you. You are his bestfriend. And also Admiral Pike?"

Jim let out a tired sigh, "I know. He maybe will be sad and mourn for me. But, he still got Thalia. She will heal him. And for Pike, I think he will be happy because I'm only make him ashame of himself for, for all of this."

"What about me, Jim?" Jim looking confuse toward the vulcan.

"Isn't it oblivious. You will command the Enterprise under Pike's order." Said Jim as he sigh, "Or better, you will be the Captain. Its suppose to be yours in the first place."

"No Jim. What I mean to tell you is, what will it be for me if someone that I care die, by his own hand, while I cannot do anything to stop it."

At that Jim wide his eyes in shock toward Spock.

"You mean..." Said Jim, but its impossible right, Vulcan doesn't has emotions. Spock cannot, "Why?" He asked softly, "Why Spock. Why did you all still care for me. I'm useless. I'm, I'm not strong enough. I'm, I'm dirty. I, I."

"Captain." Said Spock as he hold Jim's hand, "You are not useless. You are the most strongest person that I know, that we, the Enterprise and her crew know." Said Spock, "So please captain, do not do something like this again."

Jim can only watch Spock in silent. Vulcan never begs, and here Spock saying please to him. Is he really worth it all. A bad captain like him.

"Captain? Jim?"

Jim takes out a deep breath before make his decision, "Alright I will t-try."

"You don't have to worry, Captain. You have the Enterprise and her crew, we will help you heal." Said Spock once again.

Silence fill the room once again before Jim smile, the smile that Spock has been seek since the inccident, "Thanks Spock."

Jim know it will be so hard to start again, but Spock is right, he is not alone. There is Bones who also will help him. And there also the crews, Uhura, Chekov, Sulu, Scotty and Thalia. He is not alone.

And he is glad for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending suck.  
> and thanks for reading this, I'm planning to but yeah....yeah....yeah...lets not make any promise that I will break because of schooll but I will make a s'quel for this and also trying to fix my writting as finally! Finally, I got a very perfect English Teacher that can make me intrested again in learning English at school. So I hope you guys like this ending. Thanks guys for the kudos and comments. Sorry for the grammar 'key.

**Author's Note:**

> How is that? You want a next chapter? Alright then, please leave a kudos and also, a comment at my mistake as I'm a newborn fans and all, so yeah. Thanks for reading this people!


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